Sometimes Someone Gets It Right

by Lady Day

Hey, Lady!

Something kind of great happened today. This morning, after years of soul-searching and some weeks of consultation with a few colleagues and friends, a member of my department came out as trans. She wrote a note (too personal to share here) to departmental colleagues and sent it to my chair for distribution. My chair attached it to the letter below. I think that it’s a wonderful example of how to handle such matters well. Both colleagues have graciously extended to me their permission to share the covering email here.

I am so proud of both of these colleagues for their courage, dignity, and sensitivity. Sometimes, someone gets it right!

Your friend,

Lady Day

Dear Colleagues,

I attach a letter that XXXX has written to the department faculty, staff and students, and I ask that you read it.

I will not attempt to summarize XXXX’s courageous and lucid explanation of her situation and her plans. Rather, I will take this opportunity to ask for your understanding and cooperation in honouring, as best you may, XXXX’s request for support.

University policy requires “that each member of the University endeavour to contribute to the existence of a just and supportive community based on equality and respect for individual differences.” Yet the immediately relevant consideration here is surely one of departmental community rather than the dictates of policy. I hope we can all put some thought and effort into accommodating XXXX’s preferences regarding, e.g., how she is referred to, and how peers interact with her.

For people wishing more perspective and insight on dealing with transgender persons, I can suggest the following wiki as a useful resource:

One practical matter to consider, which has almost certainly come up before in XXXX Hall without becoming general knowledge, is that there are no single-user washrooms in the building. Early efforts are under way to establish a university policy on washroom facility use for transgender persons; but until such a policy is in place, the appropriate course (for everyone) is to use the washroom corresponding best to one’s presented gender.

I won’t pretend confidence that I will never slip up or embarrass myself by dealing incompetently with XXXX’s gender transition. But I can say that XXXX has made it easy for us right from the outset, by being open and socially generous about it. Thank you all in advance for making your best effort to repay this openness with support and cooperation.



2 Comments to “Sometimes Someone Gets It Right”

  1. Hey Lady,

    You just made my day! Woohoo to XXXX and all members of your department – particuarly the Chair who seems to have handled this beautifully. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a great start to the day. Keep me posted on this situation. Let XXXX know I think we can do something about the bathrooms.

    Your friend,
    Lady Di

  2. Impressive! Thank you for sharing. What a great example of honesty, openness, and excellent communication!

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