Is it June already? It’s been a long time since I posted. Too bad I don’t have a Hey, Lady! implant in my brain that would allow me to blog using the power of thought alone. There is enough else about the world these days that corresponds to the dystopic future envisioned in Soviet sci fi and 1970s Charlton Heston films; you’d think we’d have the blog implants by now too! I guess we’ll have to wait a bit longer for blog implants and flying cars.
Well, if I had a blog implant, we’d have three Hey, Lady! posts a day because that’s the average frequency with which I launch into a long rant about something — either silently to myself or to my ever grateful family, friends and loved ones.
Here are some of the posts I’ve fully conceived which have never made it out my fingers into the keyboard:
- Why it took so long for them — yeah, them — to invent suitcases with wheels. Hint: rich people used to be the only ones who maintained permanent luggage — as opposed to hastily gathered bindles — and they had servants to carry it for them. Who needs wheels when you have staff?
- Why the hell aren’t there any vegetarian cooking shows on the Food Network? I don’t have an answer for this one, but I was prepared to complain at some length. I mean, what the fuck?
- Elizabeth Badwinter versus the La Leche League: What’s a judgmental food-puritan hippy feminist to do? No, seriously. This one’s been eating at me. …No pun intended. When my kid was small, I was all like “Get away from her with that soother! Nipple confusion! Nipple confusion!” And, I have to confess that I’m still pretty suspicious of bottles and formula. On the other hand, it really is true that, in a lot of ways, breast-feeding serves to keep the mothers of young children on pretty short leads. And, someone like me who spends a good chunk of time explaining social construction to 18 year olds can’t help noticing that we approach few other infant health issues as dogmatically as breast-feeding. I guess I just want us all to want to breastfeed, in a totally non-coerced, undeformed desires kinda way, and I want workplaces, schools, etc. to be organized such that we can do so without having to give other important things up. That’s pretty attainable, right?
- “Gettier special pleading.” This one’s harder to cash out in two sentences. Ok, here goes nothing: In epistemology, a Gettier case is any case where the knower believes something true with good reason, but where, unbeknownst to the knower that good reason isn’t actually the reason the belief is true. Like this. For some reason, boy epistemologists love Gettier cases. They collect them like Lego pieces. (I was recently at a dinner with, among other people, a very senior, famous woman philosopher who complained that when she visited a distinguished smartypants uni, all that the boys there ever wanted to do was talk about Gettier cases. It’s kinda true.) Anyway, I’ve been a more or less prominent local LGBTQ ally for a few years now, but this year my kid came out as queer, and obviously I’m totally cool with it, but weirdly it’s been causing me to worry that everyone will think I’m one of those PFLAG types who become allies because their kid is queer. I mean, that’s fine too. You can’t help but be impressed by Washington Repub Congresswoman Maureen Walsh, whose defense of equal marriage seems to have been motivated by her daughter’s lesbianism, but which defense is a glory to behold. But, the thing is — it was a thing for me before I had any idea it was a thing for my kid. So, it really bugs me that someone might say, “Oh, yeah. It’s because her kid’s gay.”
I also have the most wonderful ideas for blogs other people should create — blogs that I really, really need to follow.
For instance, I know a woman feminist scholar in a same-sex marriage who is right now (well, maybe not this very second) trying to get pregnant using new reproductive technologies. And, it’s been weird for her because every so often when her vaginal fluid, body temperature, etc. tell her she’s most likely to conceive, she has to drop everything and go to a clinic. She says that often having to put her professional life on the back burner in this way constantly forces her to re-examine her sense of self. Don’t you want to read her thoughts and anecdotes every week? Of course you do! So do I! But she’s not blogging about it. …Yet.
Oh, and I’m totally dying for someone to create a photoblog called “Rainbow Hijab” that’s kind of like The Daily Bunny except that instead of astonishingly handsome rabbits, there are daily photos of Muslim women wearing rainbow Pride flags as hijabs. I’m just so sick of the way that some folks keep trying to justify their Islamophobia via their putative queer-positivity. I know queer Muslims and devout Muslims who are about as queer-positive as anyone you’re likely to meet …and of course I know tons of non-Muslims who, frankly, aren’t. Both the rainbow flag and the hijab provoke such strong reactions. Think of how powerful their iconic combination would be! And, yet, weirdly, no one has yet created the Rainbow Hijab blog. Go figure.
Back when I was thinking about blogging about possible blogs, I was also going to say that I have a MTF friend and colleague who is transitioning, and who has tons of thoughtful, trenchant, philosophically rich things to say about the process (and the various obstacles and frustrations she’s encountering), and that I desperately want her to blog too. Well, I guess this story has a happy ending because last week (Or maybe the week before? Time flies in angry lady land.), she launched her glorious, gorgeous, engaging blog, Metamorpho-Sis. You should check it out. Sometimes our blog dreams really do come true.